august 21, 2009

# 35 The holiday has also come for me ...

My dears,

I will travel with one thought: Smiling as much as possible. I want to enjoy evreything and make all the things around me special.

I love the wind, I love the green grass and walking bare foot. I can't wait to connect with myself in a natural environment.

A sweet hug for al of you!


august 19, 2009

# 34 Ease Up and Don’t Swing So Hard!

As a newcomer to the game of golf, I’m hardly qualified to give advice of any sort that pertains to the actual playing of the game. Those few balls that navigate their way down the fairway without assaulting any trees or innocent bystanders along the way hardly constitute a score worth keeping, and yet I’m completely and utterly addicted to the sport.
One of the things I love about golf is that it serves as a brilliant metaphor for life. While it can be difficult and challenging at times, it can also be fun and extremely rewarding. What I love about golf is the same thing I love about life. No matter how much I think I’ve learned, there are an infinite number of things left undiscovered. Every time I play, I learn something new.

Incidentally, what I struggle with in golf is the same thing I struggle with in life. Whenever I think I’m starting to get good, the swing I thought I’d mastered becomes inconsistent and ineffective. When my ego is engaged, my game begins to suffer immediately.

In the 3 years I’ve been playing golf, there’s one piece of advice that’s made a monumental difference in the consistency and improvement of my game. It can be said in many ways. Ease up and don’t swing so hard. Relax your grip. Let the club head fall naturally through your swing.

This is some of the most profound and spiritual teaching I’ve ever heard. What’s most profound about it, in my experience, is how counterintuitive it is. When I’m out to produce a result that’s both far-reaching and accurate in aim, my first inclination is to wind up and swing with as much force as possible.

Ironically, this almost never produces the intended result. When I relax, limit the height of my back swing, and allow the club head to fall naturally in a gentle and controlled arc toward the ball, I get better distance and accuracy than I can imagine or understand.

Here’s to a life of ease, where producing extraordinary results is no more difficult than letting the correct path unfold naturally.


august 18, 2009

# 33 Help needed

We should have just on thought in our minds.

100 people donating 10 eur makes a difference.

100 people saying 10 eur is too little helps someone getting close to death.

When you can please help and be less doubtful sometimes.

august 07, 2009

# 32 Control freak à la féminine-

I am starting this post by reminding everyone that as a life and business coach I am not allowing myself to give any advice or suggestions. My posts are my own ideas and opinions that will not suite any reader. Perhaps every person will take just a small part from here that part which best applies to their own thoughts, experiences and way of life.
So please, just remember, no one can take decisions and responsibility for your life. Coaching presupposes making each one of us aware of our own power, resources and duties. Therefore pieces of advice received are best when they come from an actual expert and you by yourself decide what is best for you and your situation. When you take someone else’s advice you and only you will be liable for what will come thereafter.
I often see women yelling and just telling their partner what to do. It is obvious that the period when that guy was living at home with his parents has long passed. Fortunately usually it’s about a small conflict because of the man power of understanding and mediating nature. But how long will the man’s patience last?
It is true that woman usually do too much, they are very responsible for things that sometimes a man doesn’t know exists. They do a lot of things on their own and they try to compensate that by simply controlling the rest. A woman has in mind at all times the possibility of an improvement and acts based on that thought.
Yelling, being upset or responding in a revengeful manner, being stubborn will never make things easier. Unfortunately we all learn behaviours (observing other’s responses to actions) without being aware that we are able to learn other behaviours in order to change the environment and the atmosphere we are living in.
The first most important step is becoming aware of your reactions. This step is one of the hardest and needs a lot of attention in the coaching sessions.
But why do we often behave like this? Why do we tend to control and maintain some attitudes that won’t bring us any good?
As we use in coaching, the good intention behind that habit is that we love that person so much. We know something must be done in order to improve the situation and move on (as humans we need to continue evolving and change, although we learn day by day how to handle them), but sometimes it is hard to do it in a positive way.
It is also true that we need to yell, we constantly need to experience all human behaviours to have the balance we all need in our life. We can do that in a neutral manner like having fun: screaming, running, laughing out loud and much more. These behaviours are usually not allowed in a parent, manager, employee, or entrepreneur role. Most important is to find your own neutral (this means not attacking anyone in any manner) way of playing with all these behaviours!

The bottom line is that first we need to find out what we want when we behave badly with our partner…Than to ask for it nicely and in an open manner like: “What would you say about helping me with…or with …or doing this…and this?

Nice theory… good luck with your practice.

Next time it will be the boys turn, I promise ;)
I saved a hug for you!