martie 24, 2009

#23 more on PERCEPTIONS

I have discovered in Herb Cohen's Book "Negotiate This-By caring, but not care THAT MUCH" that being detached is usually the best thing to do in life.

Being too involved with mind and spirit in the process usually brings us less productive results. the best thing...observing others & ourselves-is the way of evolution? We are used to observe things, actions, but less being in touch with our senses (to find out what are they really telling us).

In my view there are 3 stages of personal development:

1. Knowing ourselves;
2. Being in the process of developing ourselves;
3. Not knowing most of ourselves.

1. The first stage allows us to observe more about the environment and the people around.
Knowing ourselves as a whole (through our developed ability to observe and evaluate the changes within), allows you to have the space and attention for the ones around us.

It is very interesting to come to that stage where we are objective and detached of what is happening with us and enjoy every opportunity that our life give us.

2. Here is the second stage, the one that is transitory and most of the discoveries are the WOW type: "Is this me? Wow OK I want to keep that and that, but I also want to throw that away, that and that." So transition brings more changes in this stage than in the other two.

Observing what is helpful for you, evaluating what to change (with what), being more self confident and taking the things more as they are (objective), and less as we imagine they are (subjective) is the key for developing ourselves and reaching our success.

3. The last stage is: not knowing much about ourselves, gives us poor self confidence. The result is that we are very involved, actually too much involved with what is happening, we are in the middle of everything and our focus is only on us. The only interaction outside us is "What will the people say about me?"

The interpretation of events is subjective and detachment appears rarely. Low self esteem and powerful emotions will characterize this stage of development. "What is happening to me?" "Why are the people behaving as they do with me?" are some common questions of this stage.

Please take a few moments and discover where you are and where would you like to be. This will make a difference for your thoughts and life.

These are my thoughts and I strongly believe that people are in a certain stage during their life. There is not a place where the people are all the time. We often switch. It's very possible to switch from 1 to 2, 2 to3, but mostly from 3 to 2 to 1.

Getting to know ourselves becomes often a great adventure but the result of being in touch with the reality is a great reward. The perceptions are in those stages. We filter our reality with our experiences and views. We perceive ourselves, the events around and the people around. The quiestion is: "How we perceive all of that? "

Ways of self-discovery? Keep close to develop together.

Warm thoughts from

martie 15, 2009

# 22 Discovering some perceptions

Hello everyone,

From now on I want to write only in English, to share my thoughts to the world wide. I hope it's ok with all of you that follow my posts. Sorry for any inconvenient and I hope you'll take from Luda's Coaching Sheet as least the same value about self improvement and coaching as before.

Second of all, I will share with you a great tool of discovering a lot more about yourself through the eyes of your friends, colleagues, family and....yourself!

I have found out that I know myself less than I expected...after taking this Johari Window.

Am I : self-conscious, proud, adaptable, shy, ingenious ?!? True! that is the way that the other persons see me. It is a fair view or not?! Are they conscious about all I am or are those only some perspectives?

I want to only make a point here and not just to talk about me! It is not about how the people perceived me at a moment of my life or all the time, it is a about how I see myself in the other's is about how I want to behave in certain circumstances and how am I perceived; the way I see myself among others. My status is crucial in my mind, the way I see myself comparing to the others.

Probably the best lesson I lived in my life was to compare myself only with myself, and to be in competition with myself.. It is the best path to take ;).

So, acknowledging and evaluating how the people around me are looking at me leads me to the idea that I have different faces at different times.This is our common feature when we talk about being ourselves and being authentic.

What about authenticity? What is stopping me to be me all the time? not to seem another person...

What is stopping you to be yourself? When are you differently as the authentic you?

I made some discoveries with myself.. Take the test and observe yourself relating to the people around you. When are you different? How? What is the reason for being less yourself?

Improve yourself by thinking at yourself a little more :)

Below the 4 areas window, there are the percentages and another window containing: Interactive Johari Window.You sign in and share the link with 6 or 10 of your friends, peers, relatives, working colleagues. The outcome is that you have picked 5 ways of how you see yourself and you find out from the people that know you how they see you (they pick 5 adjectives). The outcome is that you find some new perspectives about yourself...


(known to self and others)

energetic, mature, observant

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

able, adaptable, bold, caring, cheerful, clever, confident, dependable, extroverted, friendly, happy, independent, ingenious, intelligent, kind, logical, loving, modest, organised, proud, self-assertive, self-conscious, shy, silly, spontaneous, sympathetic, tense, trustworthy, warm, wise, witty


(known only to self)

helpful, powerful, searching


(known to nobody)

accepting, brave, calm, complex, dignified, giving, idealistic, introverted, knowledgeable, nervous, patient, quiet, reflective, relaxed, religious, responsive, sensible, sentimental

All Percentages

able (8%) accepting (0%) adaptable (8%) bold (8%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (8%) cheerful (25%) clever (16%) complex (0%) confident (16%) dependable (8%) dignified (0%) energetic (50%) extroverted (16%) friendly (33%) giving (0%) happy (8%) helpful (0%) idealistic (0%) independent (25%) ingenious (8%) intelligent (50%) introverted (0%) kind (8%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (25%) loving (33%) mature (8%) modest (8%) nervous (0%) observant (8%) organised (16%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (8%) quiet (0%) reflective (0%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (0%) self-assertive (16%) self-conscious (25%) sensible (0%) sentimental (0%) shy (8%) silly (8%) spontaneous (16%) sympathetic (16%) tense (8%) trustworthy (16%) warm (25%) wise (8%) witty (16%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 15.3.2009, using data from 12 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view LudmilaMarin's full data.

martie 05, 2009

Networking for coaching

Salutari cu ganduri ramase din frumoasa si primitoarea Anglie.

M-am intors de la un workshop organizat de comapnia cu care ma pregatesc in a deveni life si business coach. Senzatiile percepute acolo sunt legate de oameni si de atitudine.

Pentru prima data m-am aflat intr-un loc in care oamenii zumzaiau. Mintea lor fugea mereu spre orizont,spre a dobandi mai mult din ceea ce au deja. Orice informatie noua era prelucrata si imediat utilizata, dezbatuta (creativ si constructiv- in niciun caz conflictual si critic..) si in acest proces toata lumea se implica activ- atitudine de castigator..

Impresiile de dupa curs ramaneau ca niste senzatii pe care vroiai sa le pastrezi intact pe tot parcursuil vietii si sa inveti in fiecare zi cate ceva din ele. Ai fi facut orice sa nu le mai pierzi.

Acum suntem cu toti acasa si incercam sa mentinem atmosfera de energizare, motivare si creativitate. Insa o bariera in a crea in continuare un astfel de mediu pentru coachi este aceea a culturii romanesti (strivita sau formata prost de fanarioti, domnitori autoritari si comunism avem la istorie sa dam si altora).E de inteles tentinta ca fiecare sa-si apere "terenul de rulare", doar ca Romania isi va cladi mentori si oameni de valoare in coaching mai ales prin ce ofera intregii societati si mai putin doar prin grupurile restranse din multinationale sau companii romanesti.

Cum pentru toate lucrurile exista o sansa de imbunatatire, noi coach-ii mici si mari :) ar fi bine sa devenim o comunitate. Sa existe un sistem in care toti ne cunoastem, ne evaluam in termeni constructivi si mergem mai departe impreuna, avand in vedere ca toti suntem unici si speciali.

Centru bitanic pentru relationare profesionala, afaceri si cultura e la inceput de drum in a realiza aceast deziderat in Romania. E un lucru minunat mai ales ca astfel de incercari sunt rare si cu sucess redus.

Energia cu care va scriu eu acum pentru a va face cunoscuta o intalnirea de networking(retea de contacte profesionale) pentru coachi si cei pasionati de domeniu chiar daca are un cost de intrare (50 ron) cred ca merita a crea o lume in care sa dam nastere la idei si sa ne cladim unii pe ceilalti;)

Va recomand intalnirea de sambata seara, 7 martie 2009 ;) la < LEADS - CENTRE FOR NETWORKING & BUSINESS & CULTURE > din Str. Schitul Magureanu, nr 7. Email :
Phone: 031.425.60.03

Eu voi fi acolo ;)

PS: Invitatia se adreseaza si celor care vor sa se si caute un coach! Este momentul ideal in a cauta persoana potrivita pentru fiecare coachee.